As It Wasn't
by Grizzled Rose
Summary: Takes off at the end as S6 episode As you were, and goes AU. Based on Spikes POV.
1. Memories

Title: Memories  
  
Author: Grizzled Rose  
  
Disclaimer: All characters and etc. Belong to well not me, but their respected parties.  
  
Summary: Someone's been having a bad time, and on a special night some ghost's come to visit. This take's place a few days after season 6's As You Were. (I know it's a little late)  
  
A/N: This isn't really a re-write, more of a redo of the story I started some time ago, and now have started to write again. If I get feedback I am more then willing to continue on with this one. For now there are 4 chapters and the 5th is being worked on. Thanks  
  
GR  
  
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It had been a terrible couple of days, and Spike was just feed up with it all. It all had started when solider-boy had reappeared in Sunnyhell, dropping by and not only crushing all that he had worked on with Buffy but also destroying the whole lower level of his crypt. Granted, when things came to Buffy they were never simple. At least she was beginning to trust him, and not only with the Bit, granted the relationship that they 'had' was far from what he wanted. Still, it was better then this. He'd been thrown back to square one, not only square one but also further back then that. Now she believed that he was some sort of smuggler. Granted he did make a deal with a demon to watch over his bloody eggs for some spare cash, but it's not like he could just go out and get a real job. Spike shuddered at the thought. He had to find some way to buy himself blood and smokes, not only that but he had been slipping $20's around the Summer's house for some time now. How was he to know what the hell those eggs were for, let alone when or how they hatched? Then Captain Cardboard just jumped to the idea that he was this 'Doc' character, like he would ever use that cover name. For sure not after the whole Glory episode last year.  
  
'ARRGGG' Spike mentally screamed at himself. 'I have to stop bloody well going on about Buffy' He was slowly beating himself up over the whole break up from that next afternoon. At first it was the Slayer's same old song and dance, but that last word that fell from her lips. William. She was not just leaving the soulless monster she was using, but what ever of the man that was left within Spike was included in her little speech. The pain that ripped through his chest was worst then any physical wound that he had received in the last 75 years. He flung the empty whiskey bottle that had lain in his hands across the crypt, and blocked every thing but the sound of the smashing glass out of his mind. His vampire hearing picking up even the clink of the glass shard's bouncing of the surrounding surfaces. Spike reached down into the small cardboard box that sat next to his chair and grabbed a new bottle out and wasted no time in opening it and starting in. He quickly pushed his mind past Buffy and her little speech, onto the next bloody event. Not only had Buffy left him, the lower half of the crypt was blown up, and then the demon returned looking for his eggs.  
  
Spike had explained to the git, that he was never given proper instructions on the care of the eggs and it wasn't his fault that the damned things hatched. Or even that the government's 'Special Force' was on the look out for them. So of course not only did Spike refuse to return the demon's money but asked for the second half as well. This led to a very angry demon the size of a small mountain. Spike had taken a very bad beating at its hands, but he gave what he got and in the end he was the one still standing. He had taken a lot of beatings before and this didn't come close to quiet a few of them, tortured by a Hell God, and being the Slayer's personal punching bag was enough to toughen the vampire up. Still it was going to take a few days for some of the bruising to fully heal, and he still didn't get the second part of the payment. Then again he really didn't come through with his part of the deal any way.  
  
Now he sat in his crypt slowly drowning away his pain, both physical and mental. He was alone, half drunk, in pain and what made it all worst? It was his birthday. Not the anniversary of his turning but the day that this creature was brought into the world screaming in protest. Even then surrounded by blood and pain, and hurting the woman closest to him. That wasn't his fault though; all babies are brought into the world like that. But he wasn't in the mood to think like that tonight. Born this day back in 1857 in his father's house in London, the first born child to this 'new money' family. How many life times ago that truly was, so that almost none of that world remained, what little did remain mostly resided in history books and museums. Spike couldn't get settled in his chair, he didn't want to think of these things, to remember those events, but he couldn't help himself either. Growing up in London society, not really excepted, but tolerated because of their wealth. Back in those days the 'new money' and 'old money' crowds didn't mix well, but neither would even dare to mingle with the 'commoners' so they tolerated each other as best as they could. His father had taken the family business and brought it up from a small local shop to one of the most respected bookshops in all of London. Making a lot of money for the family in the process, but it was a very time consuming job to keep the family in such high standards.  
  
What little of his father he did get to see never got along with the boy. There was resentment on William's side, and disappointment on his fathers. He wanted his eldest son to learn the ways of the business world to up hold the family's new name, and pull his head out of the clouds of poems and stories. In those last few years things between the two had gotten to the point of physical blows, in which poor William had no chance. His father decided if 'common sense' wouldn't work with the boy, maybe he could knock some sense into him and back in those days that type of behavior was more or less encouraged. That is where the future Spike learned that if he could change it, he would never be weak again. Even now thinking of the way his father had treated him in those days, got is borrowed blood boiling. He found himself growling at the ghost in his head. As fast as the anger and hurt that thoughts of his father began, they left him, as the slow slide further into his drunken replay of memories continued.  
  
The picture of his mother filled his head. How he loved his mum even to this day he still did, and nothing any one could tell him would change his mind about that fact. He had proven time and again that this 'soulless monster' could love as much as he could hate. The more his thoughts lingered on his own mum, the more Joyce popped in and out of his thoughts. She always did remind him of his own mum. Looking back on the two special women he could see more and more that the two shared. Both women loved and protected their children, and shared a caring nature. Their ability to not judge by reputation, but more so by the actions that were presented to them. It was all too much for him. Tears welled in his eyes. Mum.  
  
Spike didn't know how long he sat there and cried into his balled up fist, trying to push the tears back with all his strength. He was no longer William, but that doesn't mean that a man. A vampire still didn't feel the need for his mother some times. Or still need to grief for the lost of her. He fought himself a little longer until he was drained and worn by all the thinking of the past, and though he felt a pull at his dead, unbeating heart he pushed the thoughts of his mum away locking them back up in the back of his mind. He wanted nothing more then to pass out in a thoughtless drunken state, but one more ghost had to haunt him before this day was done. Not the ghost of his past love's, or even of the jeering faces of those that turned him away from his mortal coil. It was the baby blue eyes of his younger sister, Victoria.  
  
The way her smile could brighten up the cloudy London days as he would read to her from the classic writers of the day. The two children were together every day until society decided that they were no longer children. That it was time for William to begin his schooling and leave those happier days behind him. Victoria followed a few years after him, needing to learn the ways of managing a household. She was his only one true friend in the world until another young woman 120 years later, and in all reality that is one of the first things that drew him to Dawn. It wasn't that she would have made a tasty treat, but that she reminded him of his own little sister. Not that he didn't love Dawn, it was just something going for her in the beginning. His own sister had that same fire about her that would draw you in like a moth, but wouldn't burn. She was strong and fragile at the same time.  
  
That last line stuck in Spikes head. Mum, Joyce, Dawn, Victoria, and even Buffy all the women in his life that he truly loved had that one trait. Strong and fragile. Each in their own way of course, but if you looked at the big picture it was there. He had to admit it was a trait that Spike did admire in these women, coming from a time when women were raised to be but a reed in the wind. To follow ones husband's wishes and take is words as law. In modern times women with this stronger will are not hard to find, but to find them with such a balance in their strengths and weakness. Spike chuckled to himself for the first time in the last couple of days, 'Must be something in a woman's blood that she passes on to her daughters' he thought thinking of the Summer's women and the women in his family as well.  
  
Spike slowly relaxed allowing the whiskey to run its course in his system and finial pull the vampire into the blackness of unconsciousness. The thoughts and memories slowly melting away into the furthest reaches of his mind. Closing his eyes and accepting the darkness, Spike leaned as far back in his chair that he could. As he drifted off to sleep he quietly began humming a soft tune, only beginning to sing its mumbled words as sleep over took his worn mind.  
  
"Happy Birthday to me, Happy Bloody Birthday to me."  
  
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	2. Daytime Visits

Title: Daytime Visits  
  
Author: Grizzled Rose  
  
Summary & Disclaimer on first page  
  
A/N: I am not clear on the system yet, but I do my work in Word so I have found that it doesn't copy to the net 100% the same. Also my spelling isn't the best so bear with me, and thank spell check so that the thing is even readable. The quote that Spike uses is something that I wrote up one night, so it all works.  
  
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He awoke, keeping his eyes closed. 'Was that giggling' he thought to himself but quickly let the thought drop. He waited for a moment for the throbbing pain in his head to start the same one that followed after every night of heavy drinking. Nothing came. Then he heard the giggling again, followed by what sounded like birds?  
  
Spikes eyes shot opening, and if it was possible he would have had a heartache. He was laying under a willow tree, in a meadow, in what looked like the English countryside. These things were strange, but nothing compares to the shock of seeing golden highlights on the entire seen. He quickly struggled to pull up to the tree's trunk, hiding himself from the warm touch of the sun. His mind had hit a wall head on, and everything shut down except for decades of self-preservation. Then the giggling changed into a full laugh. For the second time in a matter of minutes Spike slammed into a wall that his mind couldn't overcome. Everything shut down this time and he froze every thought, every movement.  
  
"William! You silly, are you afraid of your shadow?" Followed by another string of giggles.  
  
Spike slowly stood up, and pulled himself around the tree, and the site in front of him brought tears to his eyes. There was no fighting them, but what he couldn't figure out was, why was he crying? Joy, sadness, confusion, fear, or a mixture of all emotion? In a second he didn't care. All was forgotten as he made his way out in to the sun, and grabbed the girl up into his arms.  
  
"Victoria!" Spike sobbed as he hugged the girl.  
  
The girl pushed him off, a smile dancing across her face. " I missed you too."  
  
"What was that luv?" Spikes calmed himself and looked at the angel in front of him. He took in how her hair seemed to shine in the sunlight, her blue eyes sparkled, and her smile glowed. Just like in his memories of a long time ago. She was wearing what passed as a Victorian sundress. It was then that he looked over him self. He was in a Victorian shirt and pants, but the vest, jacket and tie was all missing. It was then that he realized that he was wearing his glasses. "Bloody Hell!" Spike yelped as he ripped the glasses off his face.  
  
Victoria laughed, and then calmed herself. "Really William, I have seen you in your glasses before." She smiled at him, and walked up and took his arm. "I understand that they don't go with the new look, but you don't have to worry about being the 'Big Bad' here." Spikes jaw dropped. He turned and stared at his sister, or well he wasn't sure what.  
  
"Who are you?" He asked, venom dripping into his voice.  
  
"Victoria, your sister." The girl answered.  
  
"She died a bloody long time ago, she couldn't know about my 'image'." She glared at Spike with fire blazing behind her icy blue eyes. Her voice was low.  
  
"I would think that you, of all people would understand that all things are possible. That the world is not black and white." Her eyes soften. "William, lets not worry about the how's and what's, in stead let's just use the time were given?" Spike gave her a smirk.  
  
"Now there's the lil' hellcat that I 'member." He looked around once more and smiled what could it hurt? "So what are we going to do?" She walked up to him and circled around him. She then reached out and slapped him on the arm as hard as she could.  
  
"Your it!" she yelled as she took off running through the meadow away from him. Spike cocked his head slightly to the side and smiled.  
  
"Not for long." He whispered, and then run after her.  
  
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The two ran around, and played as they did as small children. Enjoying them selves in the sunny meadow. As the sun began to make its way to the horizon the two found front row seats to the sun set. "I've missed this." Spike said his eyes on the fiery orb in the sky.  
  
"The sunset?" Victoria asked.  
  
"No, pet." He sighed. "The company. More then that even." He smiled at her. "Not that I don't really miss the company. It's just, the belonging, the feeling that I am wanted around for me. You know?" He looked back at the sunset. "The scoobies want me around for my strength, or my general help. Buffy wants me around because I am convent, just like a dog."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't say exactly like a dog." Victoria added, with a small smile and giggle.  
  
"And what would you know of it, young lady?!" Spike asked turning a hard eye on his little sister.  
  
"William, I did grow up to have three children. I know what types of things happen behind closed doors." She smirked at him. Spike sighed, and once again returned his eyes to the horizon.  
  
"Were you happy?" Spike asked like a scolded child.  
  
"What?" Victoria asked him confused.  
  
"In life, were you happy? I don't know what. What happen to you? Mother and father as well?" Victoria smiled at him.  
  
"It was for the best William. Father dove into the shop, and mother became protective of me. After a few years I fell in love with a wonderful man. Father liked him, and mother believed he was good for me. They lived out their lives in comfort. I raised three delightful children that grow into good people. The shop past from father, to my husband, and then to my eldest boy. Yes, William I was happy, I still am."  
  
"I am glad for you Vic, Wish I was there to see it."  
  
"I know, but that wasn't your world. You've done some bad things William, but you're a better man for it." Spike laughed at that. "Really, I am proud of the man that you are now. You still have a ways to go, but I know if you want it, if you try for it you will succeed."  
  
"Vic, the things I've done. I, I just don't know what I want anymore. I don't know where I belong anymore? Am I a vampire, a soulless killer in prison? Or a man?"  
  
"You are you. William the bloody poet, Spike slayer of slayers. They are the same thing. They are just parts that make up the creature that you are now. Be true to your self, what feels right to you."  
  
"We all must play the game by the rules, using the hand dealt to us by fate from the deck stacked by destiny." Spike mumbled as the sun disappeared behind the green hills.  
  
"I like that, who is that?" Victoria asked  
  
"I've gotten better, a hundred and some years of practice helps." Spike chuckled.  
  
"I see." Victoria giggled.  
  
"Yeah"  
  
The sky darkens and the stars slowly made their presence known. Victoria sighed.  
  
"I've missed you, you know?"  
  
"And I you." Spike replied looking over to his sister.  
  
"I love you William, and I am proud of you." She leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the forehead, then stood and backed away slowly. " I have to go William."  
  
"I love you too Vic," Spike said as the tears already started to fall from his eyes once again. Victoria was slowly fading from his site.  
  
"I will see you again, and by the way Happy Birthday William." She was gone.  
  
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The pain exploding from his head told him that he was awake for real this time. Back in the 'real' world, where he was alone.  
  
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	3. Echoing Bells

Title: Echoing Bells  
  
Author: Grizzled Rose  
  
Summery ( part 2): Spike has to deal with his "feelings" and the resent break off of his "relationship" with Buffy. It's also a special day for the Scoobies. This is AU from the end of As You Were.  
  
Disclaimer: Characters and ect. Belong to proper parties. Parts are taken from the episode "Hells Bells" they are changed a little to accommodate the AU reality of this story.  
  
A/N: I know these are a pain in the rear but I have to say it again, I am sorry for the bad spelling I am working on it and hope to re-post with updated spelling.  
  
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The rolling thunder that had awoken him, still bounced around the crypt's stone walls. Adding to the stinging pain in his head. Pain that's all his unlife had become. The hangover from almost two full nights of drinking was torturing him, as though he was dieing again. Still lying across his chair, flashes of his dream hunted him.  
  
What did it mean? A better man for it? Better for what, the killing and reputation that he had earned in over a hundred years of murder? Or the last few years of being the Slayers whipping boy? Questions swirled in his head, and what were all these feelings? Vampires didn't have feelings, so he was told by everyone and yet here they were confusing the hell out of him. Love and lost for the bloody Slayer, guilt for not being there for his family all those years ago or for even Dawn these last few months. There was a pain ripping him in two and it had nothing to do with the hangover.  
  
Another crash of thunder tore its way across the sky, and Spike couldn't take it any longer. He needed it all to stop, he didn't want these feelings, had never asked for them. When did it all start? That was some thing that he had to find out. But how could he function, with all this. this feeling? He had to stop it.  
  
He reached over to the box beside the chair and pulled out his last bottle, opening quickly he drank. In only a matter of minutes the bottle was almost empty. This would never do the trick, so he pulled himself from his chair and stumbled to the door. Stopping only for a second to grab and put on his duster. If it was the last thing he did, he would make all this pain stop.  
  
He stumbled his way throw the alley ways and streets of Sunnydale until at last he found himself at Willy's. The crowd here didn't really like him anymore and even Willy and his hired help wasn't afraid of him, but he needed drink. It didn't really matter anymore where he went; every demon friendly place in town knew what happened to him. Hell most demons in town knew if nothing else that he worked with the Slayer now. Spike laughed at that, the Scoobies would never allow him in their little club but the entire Sunnydale demon population thought that he held a member card and all. Neither wanted him, too evil for the Scoobies not evil enough for the demons.  
  
There was that pain again; not helping was that one of the regulars just started some bubble-gum pop music blaring for the jukebox. Spike growled to himself and headed directly to the bar. One of the new guys was working the bar; with the encress of business Willy was able to finally get some help. Tending the bar was some thing Willy left to the new help; he got fewer beatings that way. But even the new guys found out soon enough that Spike had a chip, that didn't mean he couldn't do some damage. Just that he couldn't kill. Humans anyway, most the regulars knew to stay away for him on bad days and let him take it out on the stupid ones. Today was one of those days; Spike was looking for a fight, some thing that he could hit, something that he could do.  
  
"Here rather early ain't ya Spike?" The bartender asked, turning from the polishing the bar to his new customer.  
  
"Give me something strong." The bartender looked at Spike and knew better then to ask. The strolled over to the back end of the bar and pulled out an old bottle, with a yellow liquid in side. Grabbing a glass from behind the bar he walked back to Spike, and started pouring him a glass. Spike grabbed his wrist and stopped him, and then grabbed the entire bottle. "Keep it coming." He told the dark haired man behind the bar. Then began drinking straight from the bottle like a man that hadn't had a drink in days.  
  
Spike sat quietly drinking, not looking around at all just waiting for all the hurting, all the feeling to leave him alone. Bottle after bottle he drank, each one earning him a frown from the bartender, on his 3rd bottle the liquor was finally starting to hit the vampire. Slowly the pain dulled, it was still there it just wasn't as hard to think, move, anything.  
  
"Your gonna pay for all this ain't ya?" The bartender asked. Spike pulled out a wad of bills, and through them at him.  
  
"Should cover it all." Spike said not looking at the man once. The bartender smiled and put another bottle in front of him, then walking to tender to others. As Spikes eyes began to wonder the bar then fell upon the dirty calendar that hung behind the bar. Spike smirked and mumbled to himself. "Wonder how the Whelps weddings going." Spike grabbed the bottle and headed to one of the dark back booths. He sat down and slid in to the wall, he then dug into the inside pocket of his duster. He smirked to himself, as he pulled out an old cigarette pack. He pulled out one of is old hand rolled smokes, with a quick smile he brought the smoke to his mouth and light it.  
  
Soon his thoughts turned inwards once again, who was he, where did he belong, how can he make this pain, these feelings go away. In the good beginnings of a drunken stupor Spike started to tackle the problems in his life.  
  
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The lounges bouquet hall was decked out in white and pink flowers, as the rain storm continued to rage its way over Sunnydale. A mixed crowd of demons and Harris's were in middle of the next battle royal. Buffy stood on the small platform watching as the fight continued. De'Hoffern and Heliex sat in the middle of it all discussing the resent turn of events, and what evects that this would have on the future. Along with some little chit chat and gossip. Anya and an old man stood in back talking as the whole thing went down.  
  
"Guys. will you brake it up?" Buffy shouted in the microphone hoping to calm the crowd, but no one paid attention. She looked out over the crowd of fighting families, looking for a way to stop the bar room brawl. As she looked back to Ayna instead of a little old man she saw a six and a half foot demon. Then the demon slapped Anya a cross the face. "Anya!"  
  
"Every day I remembered and every day I though how I would some how get here, and ruin your life like you ruined mine." The large demon said. "It didn't take much either I scared off your fiancé with a couple of fonny visions."  
  
"Visions of what?" Anya asked tears slowly growing around her eyes.  
  
"Nightmare visions of the future, or his worst fears brought to live." The demon teased. Ayna began crying. "It was easy. Look at that your crying, oh I like that." The demon rejoyoused.  
  
"Stop it." Anya says between tears.  
  
"Oh cry Anyaka, cry I love to see you cry, and now I'd love to see you scream!" The demon struck out at Anya and throw her in to the wall. Seconds after wards he was slapped across the face with a chair, thrown back a few good feet.  
  
Buffy throw the chair behind her and when into a fighting stance, but the green dress wouldn't allow. So she reached down and ripped the dresses hem to free her self for the attack. Mean while the demon made his way over and grabbed Anya.  
  
"Come any closer and I'll kill her!" The demon growled to Buffy.  
  
"Anyaka!" D' Hofferen shouted seeing his favorite ex- demon in the grip of this hostel. Buffy saw her opening, in just a split second the large demon focused his attention on D'Hofferen that allowed Buffy to charge at the demon and force him to drop Anya. Buffy then sent a right hook followed by a left jab, both hitting their marks on the demons face. She then throws the demon into the wall. The demon turned striking Buffy across the face.  
  
The wedding crowd stopped their own fighting all turning to watch Buffy and the large demon. Ayna remind on the floor with Tara and Willow running up to her as she cried. Tara held her gentally as the bride in white wept. The large demon jumped to Buffy trying to put her in a choker hold, but Buffy broke it and sent a punch into the demons chest. As the two fought Anya cried on the floor with the two wiccans surrounding her protectively.  
  
"Xander... we have to find Xander." Anya managed between sobs. Buffy kneed the demon in the chin and slammed his head to the floor. She then turned and ran for the small group on the floor.  
  
"Excuse me" She let out as she jumped over them and retrieved and veil from the buffalo head that hung on the wall behind them. Trotting back to the demon just as it was getting up she rapped the veil around it neck and strangled the demon. After a few moments of thrashing the demon stilled and its heart stopped. Buffy let out a sigh, and slowly stood form the demon. She made her way over to Anya as a stun wedding party looked on. Anya still lay crying, with the wiccans trying to calm her.  
  
"Anya, are you alright?" Buffy ask concern masking her face.  
  
"Xander" was all Anya could get out.  
  
"What happened to Xander, Anya? I can't help him if I don't know how." Buffy asked as she knelled down next to the fallen woman. The Slayer taking over.  
  
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After hours of thought, and drinking all Spike had figured out was that at the moment he was piss ass drunk and sick of the way his life was now. He missed the good old days, unlife was simple catch a quick meal, get into a good fight, kill a few people for fun, and then return to the layer for some TV and a good shag. Nothing to worry about, no feelings in the way. Is that truly what he wanted, would that make him happy? It did then, so why not now?  
  
When did his unlife get hard? When he got the bloody chip. When did he fall in love with the Slayer? After he got the bloody chip. When did he start caring for something other then him self? After he got the bloody chip. When did he start feeling things? After the bloody chip. Then like the eye of the storm the idea struck him. "It's the bloody chip!" Spike yelled out into the bar of demons. Which only half seam to even notice the vampires out burst. But Spike sat there with a smile growing on his face, one that quickly fell. He knew it was all the chips fault for a while now, only his "love" for the Slayer kept him from doing something about it. Now that she wanted nothing to do with him why not get the damn thing out, or turn it off, or some thing.  
  
Spike sat a long time, a fresh bottle sat in front of him untouched as the vampire worked out a plan. The rain continued to hammer down on the ceiling and music blaring from the jukebox and still Spike sat there. Slowly the sun that had been hidden behind rain clouds all day slipped under the horizon. As soon as Spike felt him self starting to sober up he reached for the bottle, the only movements in the vampire in hours. The slow draw from the neck of the bottle and then the placing of it right back on the table.  
  
Finally Spike relised his only option, he would need some supplies, but it should work. Granted this plan would put him on the Slayers top ten kill list, but then again that's part of his old life he missed. Being the big bad, being feared as the slayer of slayers. In the long run these couple of years of trying for a white hat will be nothing more then a flash in the pan. Not even remember able.  
  
So with a plan made Spike decided it was time to end this misable state that he was in and get started. With a few bottles for the road, Spike slowly found his feet and headed to his future.  
  
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Buffy, Willow, and Dawn sat around the Summers living room, nursing some cups of tea. The lighting and thunder roared out side the front window.  
  
"Should we do something for her? Anything?" Dawn asked looking to the two older women in the room.  
  
"She wants to be alone. That's want she wants. Oh god, it just hurts my heart to think of her." Willow answered looking to the stairs. "There's still no word on Xander. No ones heard from him since the demon showed him those freaky vision things."  
  
"I know this whole thing hurts my heart. We searched every where and no ones seen or heard from Xander. I have no clue what he must be going through, but if those visions were strong enough to scare him that bad." Buffy trailed off as the three women lost themselves in their own thoughts.  
  
"Why did this happen?" Dawn asked in a small voice.  
  
"I don't know Dawnie, I just don't know" Willow said looking deep into her cup.  
  
"I just wonder where he is" Dawn stated  
  
"We all do." Buffy replied.  
  
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In a small dirty motel room Xander sat on the floor between the bed and TV, hugging his knees to his chest tears rolling down his face. His tuxedos wrinkled and still wet form the day's heavy rains. The sounds of sirens and traffic floating into the room the neon sign flashing out side sending an eerie glow into the room. The images the old man, himself, had shown him still flashing in his mind. The only words to pass through his lips as sob shuck his body was "Anya".  
  
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His boot sunk in the muddy ground as he stumbled, soaked from the rain, deeper into the trees. His memories were fading, along with his motor skills and every thing else. He continued on lost in thought for a moment trying to remember how many bottles he had drunken. Then he wondered what alcohol poisoning would do to a vampire. Suddenly he stopped his stumbling, and leaned against a tree for a moment throwing his hands into his pockets. There he found one small bottle of, well some type of booze, but nothing else. So much for fixing up the lower half of the crypt now. Pushing himself off the tree he continued on again, it didn't matter. After he finished his mission he wouldn't need the crypt much longer anyway.  
  
"Bloody Hell!" Spike yelled, as he tripped, falling to the ground. His last bottle fell from his grip. He pulled himself up, with help from another tree, and continued on once again. He was sure the caves were just up ahead.  
  
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	4. Braking these Chains

Title: Braking these Chains Author: Grizzled Rose  
  
Summary: Spikes big plan  
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill, not my characters; don't belong to me, making no money.  
  
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Spike awoke, once again to the familiar pain of an alcohol filled night. The consent drumming of water tapping on metal forced him to open his eyes. There was no sink in his crypt, it was then he realized that his place didn't feel like his crypt. Then again it didn't look any thing like his crypt either. He lifted himself to his elbows and looked around, the place was dark and damp nothing new here but there was something familiar about this place, and that bothered him.  
  
Spike got to his feet and groaned at the wave of pain that crashed over him. Then again when he found that he was in wet and muddy clothes that just made his morning. He headed for the arch way that was on the other side of the room, and quickly started tripping over the debris that was scattered around the concrete floor. Slowly regaining his senses he relised there was a funny smell down here. He took a deep breath, the smell was terrible. Like soot and burned chemicals, and other odors that came with the package.  
  
He headed to the doorway again, this time watching where he was going. Raking his brain for ideas to why he was, well where ever here was. He remembered getting to Willy's, drinking, debating to drag that tramp to the whelps wedding. Then it hit him, the chip, he was going to turn the bloody thing off. Glancing around him once more bits of the night returned to him, the caves. He had come back to the abandoned Initiative labs, he smirked to himself. 'Not a bloody poof yet, can still get some things done right.' The plan was starting to return to his foggy mind. So instead of continuing to the door way, Spike changed course and headed to one of the desks.  
  
He started looking for any scrape of paper, and found nothing but ash and melted plastic. This was impossible, these caves were huge and he had no clue where to start. Spike took a deep breath, thinking like that was not going to help him.  
  
"Damn!" Spike yelled at the top of his lungs. "Got that bloody slayer in my head again." Growling to himself Spike dug through is pockets and came out with a pack of cigarettes and light one. After returning everything to one of the pockets, he set up what was left of a metal chair, and laid the duster over it. He then turned back to the desk and began ripping through the drawers and cabinets.  
  
Work space, after office, after lab, Spike searched the underground facility. He broke through locked doors, climbed through destroyed hall ways. As he got deeper in even his vampire vision failed him in the near perfect darkness, luckily there was enough debris down there to fashion a torch with. The sites that he found down there where bad by vampire standards. After that royal battle down here a few years ago, it looked like the government just sealed the doors and forgot about it. Rotten piles of flesh that rats, or knowing the hellmouth, something else had gotten into. There were things here to, he hadn't seen them yet, but he felt them.  
  
Digging throw some piled up desks, tables, and other bits of destroyed office equipment Spike found a large locked door. One of hundreds, all he wanted now was a few more bottles, and some blood. Thinking as he throw office equipment out of his way he relised he hadn't eaten in days, not a drop. Growling at a stubborn hunk of melted metal, Spike was amazed once again by the great powers of liquor.  
  
Once there was a path to the door, Spike retreated the get his duster and the torch. Coming back with the torch in hand and wearing his duster Spike examined the door. Like most of these hi-tech doors, this one had a number pad and a slide. No good without the electricity on, anyway that wasn't his thing, more Red's that anyone's. So it came down to good old violence to solve this one. Placing the torch a little behind him, he pulled a chunk of steel pipe from the massive pile of debris. Rolling his shoulders back and then loosening his neck Spike gripped the pipe like a large lance. With a roar, Spike ran at the control panel of the door.  
  
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Anya sat on a stool in a dark room crying, her body racked with sobs.  
  
"Hush my child, calm your self" a low male voice soothing Anya.  
  
"I can't believe." Anya's speech was broken with her tears " Not Xander." Again she broke down.  
  
"Men can't be dependable my dear." The voice calmly condoning her grief.  
  
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The ruff end of the pipe growen as Spike continued to push the metal throw metal. Straining with every bit of power Spike managed to break the bolts and tear the control panel through to the other side of the wall. Dropping the pipe, Spike walked back and once again grabbed the torch and headed to the door. He ripped away, a bit of plastic that was still in place and attempted to see what was inside. There was no shining reflection coming for the other side like the majority of the rest of the rooms. After two or three, Spike decided not to bother with those rooms, mostly medical labs with out any files or notes.  
  
Sitting down on a desk Spike pulled out another cigarette and light it taking deep puffs. He looked down into the pack, only two left. He was hungry as hell, and sober. This was it for now, the sun was down based on his internal clock and he keeps thinking about painful things. It was time to call it quits after this room. Throwing the butt to the ground Spike stood, and retrieved a little item he started to carry with him after the first three rooms. A large crow-bar that he had found, are at least that's what it looked like now.  
  
Walking up to the panel once again he laid the end of the crow-bar vertically to the wall and began the push down and into the wall. The grinding of gears, and snapping of metal, followed by a pop was heard. After which Spike moved to the door itself and found that the door was slightly a jar. Inserting the crow-bar in the crack and a couple of good shoves and the door opened.  
  
"About bloody time, sodding doors" Spike grumbled as he once again retrieved the torch, and headed into the room. The room was small with one desk, and the usual fire marks and scorches, but the room was also full of files. Eerily the faint light from the torch wavered and Spike spun around there was something out there again. He had felt it earlier, but never that close. Suddenly there went that feeling again, and a gust of wind or something, put out Spikes torch.  
  
"What in the Bloody. Ok you soddin' poof you want go a round?" Spike yelled in the darkness. A menacing growl and snarl come for the direction of the door. Spike directed himself to the door and saluted the creature with the bird and growled himself, vamping out. The creature advanced on Spike and attached him claws and fangs fling. Spike blocked the second set of blows and kneed the creature, knocking the wind out of it. He then throws it to the wall. Which was quickly followed by the sound of it crashing into the desk. Spike laughed, "You don't have the wrinkles!" He yelled and then was smacked into the cabinets behind him as the creature landed a blow. "No more playing kiddy" Spike announced as he got back to his feet.  
  
The creature rushed Spike and grabbed him around the waist tackling him into one of the walls. He the stepped back and throw is arm back, palm up, claws out and slashed at Spike. Spike jumped back just as its claws flew by his head, Spike then throw himself forward into a left hook, and struck the demon across the snout. The demon recovered and grab onto Spikes lapels, and throws in over and into the other wall. Jumping to his feet Spike lands and fling kick into the creature's torso, the creature falls back a few steps. Spike then advances striking out at the creature slugging it upside the head a few times, the creature reached up and grabbed Spike's arm mid swing and slams his fist into Spikes face throwing Spike to the ground. The creature then walked up to Spike, on his feet again Spike charged the creature, just to be thrown it a wall again and doesn't move this time. The creature turns and bents to pick up a sharp bit of metal from the now broken desk. Spike lunges at the turned creature impaling both on the scrape of metal.  
  
After a bit Spike awakens in pain. 'Nothing new' Spike thinks to himself. With a loud painful scream Spike rips himself from the pole. He falls to the ground gripping the hole in is chest. Digging through is pocket he pulls out is lighter and flips it open. Once the room is alight again he pulls himself to what's left of the files.  
  
"What the bloody hell is this?" Spike groaned as he flipped through the singed files. Sub-terrain 0118, Sub-terrain 0119. Spike stopped throwing about the files. "What was it they called me again? Hostile 14, Hostile 24, Hostile 17 . That's it Hostile 17!" Spike dragged himself to the other set of files and fingered through them. "Yes Sir!" Spike yelled as he pulled a file from a mess of them. He tried to look over the file but the lighter just didn't do the trick, also there were more growls and snarls echoing down the hall ways.  
  
Spike pulled himself up and headed to the door, kicking the dead creature once just for fun. "Wanker" He said as he headed back the way he had come.  
  
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Just as the sun started to peek over the horizon Spike managed to close his crypt door. The journey back was terrible, not only because of his physical injuries and lack of blood. With out something to focus on Spike began thinking about his existence again. Going evil has many benefits, but he had time to think about the other side for a bit.  
  
Like his Lil' Bit. Over the summer the two had bonded, and he did have his promise to protect her to think about. The way she trusted him no matter what everyone else said, she trusted him to be there to keep his word. Thinking of Dawn was a two sided sword , because then Spike has to remember how he's neglected her since Buffy's return. Also thinking of Dawn reminds him of his sister. Again and again the words and actions of his memory played in his head. Happy moments whit his family, with Dru, some with his minions, others with Dawn, his sister, the Scourge, Buffy. Then the bad memories flipped through his mind. His father, Angelus, Cecily, Dru, the Scoobies, and once again Buffy.  
  
Opening the fridge Spike pulled out the last two bags of blood that he had left. He dumped one into an old jar, and throw it in to his microwave, before remembering that his electricity was out because to the earlier. He retrieved it and chugged the thick, cool blood down. He then tore into the second bag and drank it from the bag. Looking down at the hole in his chest he decided that he couldn't wrap it himself, so he just let it be. Taking off his duster which he then throws over the chair, removing his shirt and discarding the destroyed piece of clothing. Walking to the front door Spike grabbed his newly stolen bag of booze and lay down on the sarcophagus.  
  
Opening the first bottle Spike drank as he began reading his file. There was mostly a load of worthless medical bolux, identifying marks, and a lot of military coding and such. Towards the end Spike found the information that he was looking for. There was a description, and charts of the chip itself. Along with a written account of not only the implanting but of the theory behind the chipping of monsters as well. Basically it said that the chop was a prototype of an electronically control board. Much of the method was stolen from the Pholvie theories, if your reward or punish your experiment every time it does a surtain action, for example attack a human. This will then modify its behavior accordingly to the stimuli that it reseve. The only problem is that the chips hardware wasn't stable, after a few years the electrical system would start to erode. Causing malfunctioning and misfires, which is deadly if it was to continue for a short amount of time.  
  
"Great not only does the bloody thing turn me into a soddin' poof, but now it's going to kill me too. Wonder how long I got?" Spike thought as the alcohol began to travel through his new blood. Taking another slug of the bottle and he jumped ahead in the reading to the last bit. There was a bit in between filled with more drawings of circuitry and mapped details of the chip its self.  
  
In the end it described how the chip could be deactivated if need be. It would take a quick medical procedure, but then all that was needed was a small probe to disconnect the proper circuit at the flow point from the main power source. With the drawings, file, information, and a bit of money he should have no problem finding a doctor that can help with his little problem. A large smile covered Spikes face as he dropped the file to the floor and finished off his bottle. Turning over he fell into the sleep of the dead.  
  
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End file.
